Appreciating the Waiting

Most days I go for a walk. The meaning on the walk is three fold. (Yes, that is a Friends reference “The One with Chandler in a Box”) It’s partly for the exercise, partly for the fresh air and sunshine, and partly to spend time with the Lord. My church family is reading through the Bible this year so I often listen to the chapters for the day at the start of my walk. Then some days I listen to worship music, sometimes I listen to a podcast, some days I just process all that is going on, and sometimes I spend the majority of my time in prayer.

Mondays are my favorite days to walk because I can go out on the golf course and walk the cart path since the course is closed. The scenery is nice but mainly I like having water at each tee box. I’m kidding, but I do enjoy the water. I don't love those little cone cups though. I may have spilled water down the front of my shirt last night when drinking from one of those :-) Because it was HOT yesterday I waited until about 8:45 in the evening to go on my walk. I walked for about an hour as is the norm for Mondays. As it started getting later I had to pay more attention to the cart path because I was a little concerned about snakes and there were a million frogs out. I was looking down at the cart path, using the light on my phone to illuminate it. At one point towards the end of my walk I looked up and realized I was a couple holes further into the walk than I thought I was. I had been so focused on the cart path right in front of me that I hadn’t noticed how much ground I had actually covered. I just kept looking right in front of me, at the part of the path that I could see. I wasn’t thinking about which direction the cart path was going. I trusted it to take me in the right direction and before I knew it I was further along the path than I had realized, right where I wanted to be.

For the past two years I have felt a little unsettled, like the Lord is doing something but I am not sure of what. I am not sure if it pertains to business, ministry, my family and friends, or something totally different. For over a year I have been feeling like the Lord was preparing my heart to let go of a specific role in a ministry that I love. I hadn’t pulled the trigger because I was waiting to see what the Lord was going to add in its place. On May 13th, during worship at youth the Lord asked me if I was willing to let go of that role even if I didn’t know what the next thing would be. I knew that night I had to be obedient in letting that go and I took the steps to do that over the next week. The Lord did something similar once before for me in ministry. I was supposed to roll off of a council and I was asked to stay on for another year. I prayed about it and the Lord clearly told me to roll off as planned and that He had something else for me. About two months later I was asked to take on a new role that I had never even considered before. Serving that ministry has been one of the biggest blessings of my life!

This time, the Lord put a few new opportunities in my path pretty quickly. No firm asks, just feelers to see if I would have any interest in any of those roles. I can’t do them all. He isn’t asking me to do them all. Some are completely worthwhile, but they don’t align with my calling and gifts. I’m learning to recognize that quickly and let them know. Others very much align with my calling and gifts. I’m not sure where I will land with all of this. Having multiple opportunities to serve keeps me from fixing my eyes on one of them. It’s fun to think about what could be ahead with each one, but I don’t let myself invest too much into it because I don’t know where I will be. It’s tough though to sit back and just wait, not knowing what is ahead.

Last night, as I was walking along the cart path, with my phone flashlight lighting up the area right in front of me I realized that is what walking with the Lord often looks like. We can’t see up ahead, but we can trust that when we follow Him He will lead us exactly where we need to be, even if we can’t see where the path is taking us. He lights the way for the next step {Psalms 119:105} and directs my path. {Proverbs 3:6} I needed that reminder! It’s refreshing and restful to be able to just relax and trust that I don’t have to know where He is leading me, I can just trust Him.

Yesterday morning, I was reminded of something that I told a friend in May. She asked about how my dad was doing. I gave her an update and told her he would had his next PET scan at the end of June. She said, “I know the waiting is hard.” But I told her that we were actually really appreciative of the waiting. We had two months between the time the PET scan was scheduled and the scan itself to just live life as normal, without an appointment every few days, without lots of decisions to make, without taking in and processing tons of new information. I told that her that I really appreciated the time of waiting. Of course, we joked about making sure we documented that I had said I appreciate the waiting. It was the afternoon of May 22nd. :-)

So for now I will wait. {Psalms 27:14} I will wait to see what He has next for me. I will look ahead with excitement, not for one specific purpose but in expectation of what the Lord is doing! {Psalms 5:3} I will take time to rest while I am waiting. {Psalms 91:1} I will rest and allow my focus to just be on being with Jesus. These next few weeks are filled with so many of my favorite things including the mountains! I am so looking forward to the mountains! I have missed them! I definitely won’t be sitting around just waiting, but I will be resting in my Heavenly Father. I will fix my eyes on Jesus. {Hebrews 12:2}