Jesus is My Reward

In College I took an exercise psychology course. That along with sport psychology were two of my favorite classes because my professor (the same for both courses) told the best stories! I remember Dr. Bart telling us about a marathon somewhere in Georgia that gives out a specific t-shirt to everyone who finishes the marathon. Having that t-shirt is a huge deal, it means you didn’t just pay your entry fee, but you finished the marathon. The point of the story in class was to talk about extrinsic and intrinsic rewards. That t-shirt is an extrinsic reward, but it really isn’t the reason for running the race. No one runs a marathon for a $20 t-shirt. That would be ridiculous. The entry fee for the race costs more that the t-shirt. The runners run because they enjoy it (or so I have been told) but the t-shirt is an added bonus that tells the world that you finished that race. The intrinsic reward is the main reason they run it, but they like the extra reward that shows the whole world that they accomplished their goal.

There have been times in my life when I have treated my relationship with Jesus this way. Instead of recognizing what I have in that relationship itself, and that I will always have that, I had a mindset that my relationship with Jesus would lead to some specific earthly reward. That extrinsic reward was not the initial intent of my relationship with Jesus, but I think along the way it is easy to get distracted by the world. This thinking can lead us to idolizing the earthly reward that we want. It can also lead us to leave Jesus behind once we get the reward that we want. But, if Jesus is the reward, I am not tempted to leave Him behind. There is also something else so incredible about really grasping that Jesus is the reward. There is no waiting for Him. There is no waiting for a relationship with Him. There is no delayed gratification. He is with us immediately after choosing to accept Him as our Savior. We are not alone. We don’t have to wait for that reward. We already have Him! Now, that doesn’t mean every prayer request is answered immediately. I believe as long as we are living we will always have something that we are hoping for, seeking Him for. But, we already have the best part of all that a relationship with Him in this time holds! One day we will have the even better piece which is being in His presence. That is the only better thing we are waiting on. {Romans 8:38-39, Matthew 28:20, Deuteronomy 31:6, Joshua 1:9, Isaiah 41:10}

When we nurture our relationship with Jesus with recognize the extra reward of obedience to him. In the midst of all of the life’s circumstances we have peace, an anchor in the storm, when our relationship with Jesus is focused on the relationship itself. We are filled with gratitude because of that relationship with Jesus, not because of the circumstances. A deeper relationship with Jesus is the reward of obedience to Him, whether that is doing something He calls us to do or abstaining from something He calls us to abstain from. {Hebrews 13:5}

I have heard a lot of negative talk lately about “purity culture.” If you are in your mid 30s to mid 40s you probably remember all of the True Love Waits talk in youth groups. I have spent some time listening to those who are angry with the “purity culture” that they grew up with to try to understand their frustration. Here’s the thing, the True Love Waits message (abstinence from sex until marriage) completely aligns with scripture. And even if you take Jesus out of this completely there is clear evidence that having multiple sexual partners is harmful emotionally and has the opportunity for physical consequences as well. So as I thought about my experience of learning about sexual purity and now hearing from those who are upset with the purity culture that they were trained in I recognized a disconnect for many people. {1 Thessalonians 4:3-4}

The message that we heard was about delayed gratification. We heard that if we wait until marriage for sex it would better. I think many of us believed it. But, what happened for many is that sex became the goal. So then, marriage became the goal because it led to sex. If this is how you processed that as a teenager, and then you went off to college, fell in love, and got married at 22 or 23 it played out exactly like you expected it to play out. You were obedient and you got your reward. But, if this is how your processed that as a teenager and now you are 30 or 40 and still single (waiting for sex) it feels like you kept your end of the bargain but God didn’t keep His. Your job was to wait and His job was to bring you a spouse. I can see how a person could easily become bitter towards God and towards “purity culture” in this scenario.

The truth of scripture is not that sex is the reward for finding a spouse, but that a pure relationship with Jesus is the reward of obedience to Him.

I am not sure if this reward was lost on so many because teenage brains aren’t fully developed or there were just so many hormones raging, or because those teaching this made it more about a reward than obedience. It could be some other reason entirely too. I am still not sure of the answer as to how to better communicate this to today’s teens and young adults. I am praying about that and seeking out the Holy Spirit’s guidance in it. I want to be able to share this message in a way that the students that I have influence over can hear to save them from heartache, one way or the other. I want them to know in all that we are teaching them that Jesus is the reward.

There is no delayed gratification with our relationship with Jesus. We have Him now. We may have to wait for prayers to be answered, healing may take time, a loved one coming to know the Lord may take time, grieving will take time, we may have to wait on a spouse and a family, but we have Jesus right now. That never changes! That is good news!